Rita Holland

February 17,2003

Dear Whirlygirls,

I was sitting at my desk today and I heard about your company on WCCO radio.  I felt an instant connection to your company--and the genuiness you were pouring out over the 'radio waves'.  I am home from work now and I believe I have the perfect nomination for the strongest women in the world.  My Mom, Rita.  She is now 59 years old and has gone through a world of hurt and change and has emerged a strong, vibrant woman.  

Let's start at the beginning.  I am an only child (now 38 years old), and my Mom and Dad are the best people in my life.  They are farmers and people who really care about the world and have such generous hearts.  My Mom worked off the farm for 30 years as an office manager, and spent her "home" time in the garden, crafting, cooking & keeping all the fires burning!  She put me through college, and was looking forward to "saving some money" and getting ready to meet those retirement years!  She went in for a physical, after Dad and I kept urging her to do so--as her weight was dropping fast.  She claimed it was nothing--but it was something!  She was caregiving for my grandpa--he was dying of bone cancer.  She told me her weight was coming off because she was so busy and just eating "ho-ho's and diet coke".  Then, it happened--diagnosis of diabetes.  I thought, oh, no big deal...type II...no problem-just take some pills and watch the sugar intake.  This was August 30th.  Everything seemed good, she got the pills, watched her blood sugar very closely and decided this wasn't such a big deal.  Then it happened --AGAIN--she woke up on December 26th to blurred vision.  She didn't tell me when I dropped our 6 year old son off in the morning before I left for work, but she called me at my office at 10am--in tears asking if I could leave right away to go to Minneapolis to see a "retinologist".  What the heck is a retinologist anyway, I thought?  Well, this was to be the beginning of a journey that would not only change my precious Mother's life, but our whole family as well.  

We saw the specialist and she said that sometimes when you get the diabetes under control so quickly, the small vessels in the eye begin to leak.  Mom began the laser treatments and many operations to save her vision.  Gone for my Mom, was the ability to drive, gone was the ability to manage an office and do payroll. gone was my Mom's ability to see her precious grandson clearly.  We were in and out of the "retinologists" offices weekly.  They kept asking if she was having any other problems--like her kidneys?  No, all lab work was OK as far as we knew.  After almost 18 months, we were linked up to a kidney specialist because Mom's blood pressure was "sky high" and none of the medicines our local MD gave us "seemed to agree".  That specialist worked so hard to keep Mom's kidney function at its highest.  There were instances when we went in every three months that I thought--how is this women keeping things all together?

 During this year long process--my Mom--began to regenerate her life.  She embarked on a new path--a path of healing and making the best of what God had dealt her.  We researched and found a wonderful machine that would magnify so she could read letters, write checks and continue to do the bookwork for our farm.  She made the best of not being able to drive--she relied on us to get her to dr. appts, grocery stores and our beloved Wal-Mart has been a weekly sanctuary for us to go to!  Her vision has leveled out, still not good enough to drive, but improved enough to plant a huge garden, nurture her flowers & my Dad!  She cans all of her own tomatoes--making homemade V-8, "because we just don't need that sodium".  She keeps in touch with her friends and relatives by phone and is always "cooking" something good.  

Then, in June of 2001 we met with kidney specialist.  He had two options for us.  That is the first time I realized this was not something that my Mom out of shear will would not be able to overcome.  The word "dialysis"...it was quite paralyzing.  He said, to her "you would be a good candidate for a transplant".........what!!!  At that very instant I knew I may not be able to help my Mother.  I thought, what are the odds that someone would die and my Mom would be a "match" to get a kidney?????  We were all very "green" to organ donation at this time, and I figured my Mom would be "creeped out" my a cadaver kidney!  But what was our option?   We went home, talked to my Dad, who was instantly upset-- fearful is really the right word though.  His Dad had died an awful, painful death-- almost 40 years earlier and one that was diagnosed as "kidney disease".  His was not diabetes related, and he died one year before dialysis was an option.  Not only did I feel I had to help my Mom, now my Dad.  What would we do?  I came home, told my husband about all that had transpired in this afternoon.  He said, well, "she'll just have to do dialysis until a match can be found."  It was such an easy solution to a panic stricken afternoon.  He was right, thousands of people life "normal, productive" lives on dialysis.  So, my panic turned to hope as I began to research.  The idea of a living donor began to surface, especially as our next visits to the kidney clinic, kept revealing worsening lab values.  Something would have to be done soon.  They recommended we meet with a "kidney transplant coordinator" at Abbott Northwestern Hospital.  My Mom & Dad, my aunt (Mom's sister) and I went.  We went to find out how to "get on the list" and tell them my Mom decided to do "home dialysis" when the time came.  They had quite another agenda.  They spoke of 'getting tested' to see if any of us matched.  I sat at the large oval table and couldn't believe what was about to happen.  My Dad was disqualified from the process because he had high blood pressure.  My Aunt and I went to the lab, I remember setting my coat down and telling my Mom and aunt that I knew I would match.  They all laughed, and Mom was not even thinking that she could accept a kidney from me (or anyone else she knew).  We left the lab, went and ate lunch and headed home.  

I came into the house and saw my answering machine light was blinking.   I knew that it "was it".  The caller did not have to tell me...a "cool wave of air" moved through my body as I heard the news---I was the match.  My Aunt did not have the right blood type.  I am a very spiritual person, and I firmly believe it was the Holy Spirit and it was telling or affirming that "it was time for the next step".  I told my husband--who thought I'd gone off  the deep end, then called Mom to tell her I matched.  She "wouldn't hear of it".  "You have a young family, and I can not let you risk your life for me".  I knew I was in the safe hands of God at this point and had to make my case--to save my Mom's life.  To give her another chance at "regenerating her life"...it was the best thing to do, the healthiest solution for her, and very little risk to me.  

Our son was 9 at the time, and Mom would not even consider the possibility if I was the "only match for him".  So I made Doctor appointments for my son and husband, and yet another prayer was answered.  My husband, my son and I all share the same blood type.  If my son, Ben, would ever needed a kidney, my husband, Bill could be his donor.  Things were starting to come together.  I did more tests, and all came out perfect.  Now, the timing.  Mom's own kidneys were failing by the day, and she was getting sicker and sicker.  We had to move quickly.  The transplant team wanted to wait until after the "Holidays of 2001" to get us scheduled.  I thought it would be in January of '02.  Mom said, oh--they won't do it until my Birthday (February 18th), I said, you'll have to do dialysis if we wait that long!  Sure enough, February 18th was "our day" ....her day!  She made it by some grace of God, and we headed in for surgery.  I didn't wrap a birthday present for her--the doctor brought it in to her in a "zip lock bag".  The surgery was a success.  With only a couple minor set backs early on, our first year has come and gone (today is Feb. 21st.)

Now our new life is unfolding (February 18, 2003--One Year Aniversary). My Mom is legally blind, and "retired" from her office work, but loves each day!   Each of us is living  with one kidney--I laugh when I think about her with my kidney!  We teased her about what that would mean!  She has given me so much in my life, there is just nothing I would have stopped at to give her more time on this earth.  God has given us a miracle.  I was given to her, I gave back to her and we now have each other again!  We pray for continued good health and pray that others in need would be as lucky as we have been.  

Thank you for considering my Mom, Rita Holland as a "whirlygirl" award winner.  

Theresa Henson