Rena Weidman

April 12, 2002

Dear Whirly Girls (Shelly):

I would like to tell you about my precious mother in law and nominate her for a whirly girl award.  Rena Weidman, is a beautiful and courageous woman, an inspiration to myself, my three daughters and to women in general. When my husband and I were married, Rena and I began a journey together and have cultivated a relationship that is more like blood than legal ties.  She has been a blessing to me, to say the least.  Teaching me family recipes, sharing my heartaches and swapping childhood stories have been a part of every visit to each other's homes.  To our children, she has been the ideal grandmother and has been gracious enough to listen to every cute kid story and every sick child question I have thrown her way as if they were her greatest delight.

Twelve years ago, my mother in law was diagnosed with breast cancer.  At that time in her life her four children were all grown, her youngest a freshman in college.  She faced that battle in silence, her sole support being my father in law and a close circle of friends.  She underwent surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation for her cancer and only when she knew her prognosis was favorable, did she inform my husband and our family.  At that time she was 48 years old.  As the strong person she is, Rena fought the disease and the doubt for a healthy future; she fought the fear of the cancer spreading and of leaving her family prematurely.  She won· for twelve years she has pushed on in faith and has watched grandchildren be born and grow, has traveled the world, has been a career woman and just recently sold her business to maintain a more simple life.  She has fulfilled a dream by walking a marathon in Duluth, MN as a breast cancer survivor carrying with her the cheers and support of her family.  She has been the poster child for life after cancer.

The year 2002 began with another lump in her other breast.  The call came to our home in Montana shortly after her initial visit with the physician.  How on earth could this happen twice?  We certainly took for granted that after 12 years, Rena was home free.  As chemotherapy is in progress for mom (the title mother in law has long since been abandoned) she is weak in body, but her spirit is one of determination and strength.  She has lost all her hair, but not her ability to encourage others.  In fact, on a recent trip home to MN to see her, she referred to her sofa as the therapy couch.  Friends come to comfort her, sit next to her on the couch to have coffee or tea, and leave having been comforted.  Her contemporaries are fearful to visit her, as they must see their own mortality.  I watch and listen to her in awe.  She is full of profound statements that this second battle with cancer has brought with it many miracles.  That her baldness has shown the real Rena and she is happy that she has had the opportunity to look at herself without hair and say, Iām proud to be me!  She is beautiful.  She puts on make-up and dances with the grandkids and parades through the living room to model the new outfit and wig she has purchased.  She tells jokes, shares meals, emails, chats on the phone, tells us not to worry, and is ever reminding that God is in her life and in control.  She makes me weep.   

I am so blessed to have her in my life.  My children are blessed to have her in their lives.  She is showing us with each day that you donāt have to give up because of illness, you donāt have to stop living because you face difficulty or fear or because you look a certain way.  To my diabetic daughter, she is inspiration that health is as much an attitude as a physical condition.  To our other daughters, she demonstrates grace under pressure and joy in sorrow.  To our son, women are strong in the midst of weakness.  To my husband, she loves and shows she needs love.  To me, well, to me, she is the role model.  As I hold her hand and wipe her tears or laugh with her, or sing with her she continues to be the woman I cherish and admire with all I am. 

Rena is a whirly girl.   Daring, classy, a little bit glitz in her sheik scarves like the Swarovski crystals and a little bit hard metal, like Bali beads all bound together with strings of love. 

Mom is my hero. 

Sincerely,

Darcy Weidman