
Sara
Christensen
March
13, 2002
Dear
Whirly Girls,
I
would like to nominate Sara Christensen. She
is a wonderful friend and
also the most admirable person I know. This
story of the past four years will
only begin to share her strength.
After
college Sara and her storybook boyfriend engaged and married.
Everything
was wonderful and I always considered them to be the ideal
relationship.
About four years ago, when they had been married a couple
years
and now considering starting a family, Sara found out her mother had breast
cancer. There was not a question
of
surviving, only how long.
Although
this in itself is very devastating, the hardest part for Sara was thinking
about her younger brother and sister, ages 6 and 9 at the time. Neither
of the kids had ever known their fathers, and they both had different
fathers. This of course meant that the kids either went to foster care
together or to their fathers separately. Sara
had experienced a rough enough
childhood herself and wouldn't bear to see them be thrown aside in
all
of the
commotion.
Immediately
she started talking with her mother about making sure the kids
would
be turned over to her. Although
her
mom was in extreme denial she agreed
to sign custody paperwork. At this
point Sara's responsibility consisted
of taking her mom to the doctor for treatments to slow the progression
and also to alleviate the pain of the treatments.
After about
one
year Sara's mom was no longer capable of taking care of the kids so they moved
in with Sara and her husband. The
relationship had been very stressful
with Sara committing so much time to her mother.
Her husband continued
to become very jealous of the time and extremely unsupportive.
Sara
knowing there was no other option she would be comfortable with
continued
with her efforts for the kids and her mom.
He left her after he realized
the kids would not be moving back with their mom, he said he only wanted
children of his own. After the
divorce was finalized he was nice enough
to give her one month to buy him out of the house which she
desperately
needed to stay in. Not only because
she couldn't afford to buy another
but also because she would truly go crazy if she had to add buying a house
to her pile of to do's. The heart
break of her true love was very hard
to work though with all of this but she didn't want the kids to think it
was their fault so she continued to preach that things work out the way
they
are meant.
As
time went on it became financially hard
being the kids did not get child
support
from their fathers and her mother
was not working. So what did she
do,
she opened her own consulting business. She
worked all day, came home
to
take care of everything on the home front and then stayed up until
3:00-4:00
a.m. to keep her clients happy. She
was a marathon runner,
extremely
athletic, but now it has been years since she has run or done
anything
for herself.
Sara
told me of the revelation she had
once about the important things in life, not clothes, gossip, where you hang
out after work - simply giving to others.
Her
mom continued to slip away as the cancer spread throughout her organs.
It
was the slowest progression of pain I've ever encountered.
Her mom
finally
died last month. She had been in
a
wheelchair for 21/2 years,
couldn't
answer more than half of the questions asked of her for two years and
at 5'6" tall weighed 72 lbs. The
whole time she was fighting to make
sure
she saw as much of her kids as possible. I
have not ever seen a person endure
so much utter pain.
Since
her husband left and she opened her business it has been a long haul.
But
she is thriving. She is as radiant as any woman could be.
Don't get me wrong,
she is always pushing and pulling at herself to get everything done but
it is all about her attitude on life. She
lives life grateful for everything
that she has, every opportunity, every person, every laugh and even
in the worst of times believes that she will get though and learn something.
And the kids are amazing, they have adapted to all of this
change
and turmoil and from Sara's example (and a lot of love and patience) been
able to come up for air between the hard times.
This
is such a brief overview of this past four years, and there is so much
more
to the sacrifices Sara has made - all though her life for her mom.
One could
never measure the respect I have for her, for the way that she has
always
done for others because she believed it was right.
I have a lot of wonderful
women in my life but know no one who can juggle as much, be as courageous,
resourceful and tolerant in life and always with a smile on her face.
I
hope you will see that she is a true Whirlygirl!
Thank
You - Jessie Huff